Permission to Pause
Rejoicing in ordinary things is not sentimental or trite. It actually takes guts.
Pema Chödrön
Today, let’s zoom IN on one of my favorite exercises to remember when I’m in search for and want to reground in my sense of self.:
Zoom out and remember the bigger picture.
All the little wins, the small changes, the seemingly insignificant positive choices, are what culminate to make up the bigger picture.
Yet all too often, our brains’ tendency towards a negativity bias skew our vision, our interpretation, of our reality.
Consciously choosing to refocus on the positive is like the practice of meditation, consciously choosing to come back to our breath every time our mind wanders away.
For me, a positive choice could be deciding to read in bed one night instead of watching TV, or opting for a glass of water before coffee in the morning.
I don’t read every night, and some mornings I go straight for the java, but on the days when I do make that small choice that I know helps me feel more rested and connected, I make a mental note.
Those small choices are anything but small. They matter and they are worthy of your celebration.
Make a list of all the things that make you feel better on any given day.
Write down anything and everything. Big things and inconsequential things. Free write for at least two minutes. Then:
Decide on one thing to do today from your list that is just for YOU. Put it in your calendar to carve out the space for it.
And then, when you do choose to act on that one thing, make a mental note to honor that. Better yet, share that little win with a trusted partner (need an accountability buddy? Send me a note – I’ve got you!)
Some ideas to get you started (these are things I’ve made mental notes on in the past. Take this list or make your own! You do you!):
- Hydration
- Going to bed 30 minutes earlier
- Not snoozing on your alarm
- Not checking email late at night/first thing in the morning
- Reading in bed
- Opting for one snack with natural sugar versus added
Go easy on yourself. Remember, this is an exercise in curiosity, not judgment, and there is no rush.
Finish out this exercise by closing your eyes and taking 10 slow deep breaths. Watch your breath, and as you inhale, know that you’re breathing in. As you exhale, know that you’re breathing out. Remind yourself that one breath at a time is the way to move forward with anything.
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